Funny things women are told

I’d like a resource of funny, daft and hopelessly inaccurate or misinformed quotes women have been told by their maternity care teams.  It is useful to know you aren’t hearing it alone.

“Birthing in water?  That’s just for whales and dolphins!” – said by a nationally respected obstetrician at a well-renouned conference…

“You’ll have to get out of the pool to have your baby in case they drown.” – L

“Why would you want to have your baby at home? I never heard so much nonsense in all my life, and I’ve been a midwife for 20 odd years”– L

“Knowing your own mind is one thing but getting your own way is another. We don’t like spoilt brats in this hospital.” – L

“Can you keep the noise down please. You are having a baby not running the London Marathon. Thee is no need for that level of noise this early in the morning. You sound like a cow being milked” – L

“I’m not sure what the evidence says, but you have to follow our policy” – said to a mum asking for evidence to support a plan for fetal monitoring she didn’t want

“I know you said you don’t want internal examinations, but we do HAVE to do them every four hours.” – H

If you want to share your funny, and not so funny, quotes, please add them as a comment and I will put them on the site, please say if you would like your name added to the quote, as otherwise I’m happy to keep them anonymous.